How Frequently Do Queer Ladies Have Intercourse?

Our Lesbian Intercourse Survey — open to all or any ladies who have intercourse with women — garnered 8,566 complete reactions and provided us loads of information regarding your pony-riding practices. Among the things we asked about had been how frequently you have got intercourse, because everyone is f*cking enthusiastic about how many times everyone is having intercourse! It’s the one thing your friend whisper-asks you when you state you’re perhaps maybe not certain that your long-lasting relationship is working any longer, “how frequently have you got sex?” It’s the one thing people brag about once they start a fresh relationship, too. But following the U-Haul dust clears, many same-sex feminine couples are forever haunted by the likelihood of Lesbian Bed Death and, in an attempt to deter this fate, we appear unnaturally disposed to tracking everybody’s frequency to ensure we’re all on par.

Nonetheless it’s not merely queers that are dedicated to this quantity. Looking for fundamental data on intimate frequency when it comes to population that is general like getting a needle in a haystack, because heteros are so fascinated by this subject that they’re seemingly in a position to generate endless articles about any of it… none of that incorporate any conclusive figures. Everybody’s focused on exactly just what intimate regularity means in regards to the power of the relationship, you understand?

Most of the available information is old, which matters because there’s a great deal of data showing that intimate behavior as a whole went down during the last 5-10 years, specially amongst teenagers who will be sex later on much less usually. Why? demonstrably it is ’cause everyone is really so busy playing from the interwebs and over-intellectualizing!

Some numbers that are good discovered add:

  • There’s one medical practitioner on the market whom unearthed that married people beneath the chronilogical age of 30 have intercourse on average about twice per week.
  • A year, married people under thirty have sex about 111 times a year, and 15 percent of married couples have not had sex with their spouse in the last six months to one year in 2009, The New York Times cited research that all married men and women have sex 58 times.
  • The middle for Health advertising at Indiana University discovered 61 per cent of singles hadn’t had intercourse in the year that is past in opposition to 18 % of married people, and that married people between your many years of 25 and 59 had been sex 2-3 times each week. (There’s more good information in that research nonetheless it’s no further online that is available
  • An oft-cited research found that the median American adult under 40 has intercourse once per week and about 10% have sexual intercourse at the least four times per week.

In addition discovered this, through the Kinsey Institute, which evidently just asks about penetrative sex:

There, don’t you’re feeling as you understand everything now? Me personally too. So now let’s speak about the women who like women who responded our study! – find your latin bride First, a thing that is important understand is the fact that 89% of y our study participants had been amongst the many years of 18 and 36.

Therefore, in a perfect globe, how frequently would our participants sex that is having? And exactly how usually will they be sex that is actually having? Just take a gander:

There’s a conception that is popular individuals in non-monogamous relationships are experiencing intercourse more regularly than those in monogamous relationships, but our studies have shown that’s not the case. The figures are nearly precisely also, as you possibly can see above.

One other many striking part of the information is 35% of you wish to be having sex when a time or maybe more, and just 3.69% of you might be sex as soon as each and every day or even more. It is feasible that everyone believes they desire intercourse far more usually than they really do, however it’s additionally feasible that whenever we imagine an “ideal world”, we imagine some sort of where we work 40 hours per week in place of 70, aren’t so damn exhausted after placing the young ones to sleep, or weren’t experiencing anxiety or psychological conditions that make intercourse difficult to be equipped for.

We now have therefore much data to glance at right here, but today’s focus are going to be on intimate regularity within relationships, both monogamous and non-monogamous. Let’s enter it.

What’s the strongest predictor of just how much sex you’re having?

It’s not age, it’s perhaps not desire, it is perhaps maybe not just how many lovers you’ve had or once you destroyed your virginity — it is just how long you’ve held it’s place in the relationship that you’re in. Relationships which had lasted 6 months or less report far more sex frequency — about 12percent of relationships enduring 6 months or less reported sex once each day or higher, with 47.81percent reporting sex multiple times per week. The figures drop slightly, not somewhat, to the 12 months mark, at which point the more downturn that is significant. 3% of relationships 1-3 years long report day-to-day intercourse, 39% have sexual intercourse numerous times per week. After we arrive at the year that is 5-10, we’ve got 1% having day-to-day intercourse and 14% carrying it out numerous times per week.

Frequently this will be viewed as proof waning desire but we don’t think that is always reasonable — often it is difficult to get the full time, duration, also it’s just better to focus on constant intercourse over everything else in your lifetime whenever you’ve simply started seeing someone.

Here’s what’s amazing, though: aside from the regularity of intercourse you’re really having heading down as the relationship progresses, how many times you state you need to have intercourse falls, too. Therefore, even though the gulf between wanting and having stays wide, it is clear that for a lot of relationships, what you would like couple of years in is not the same task you desired couple of years ago. Or possibly whenever you’re carrying it out every time you can’t imagine ever maybe not planning to take action every single day, you realize?

We additionally asked you straight “How often are you experiencing intercourse set alongside the very first 12 months of one’s relationship?” Of these who’d held it’s place in a 12 months or higher, just 7% said they’re having more intercourse now than in the beginning. 38% report less intercourse, 29% report notably less sex, and 21% stated “about the exact same.”

Residing together appears to have some correlation, too, but that is most likely connected pretty tightly to duration of relationship, since individuals generally move around in after they’ve been dating for some time. A week do not live together within monogamous relationships, 68% of those who are having sex more than once a day, 63% of those having sex daily, and 54% of those having sex multiple times. The longer you’ve been residing together, the much more likely you will be to possess sex numerous times a thirty days, once per month or numerous times per year. When you’re preparation all your sleepovers at each and every other’s places, there could be an expectation of sex that simply doesn’t occur once you sleep together each night.

The length of that gap between what you need and exactly just what you’re getting?

A week about half of the women in relationships who’d have sex once a day or more in their ideal lives are actually having it multiple times. 31% whom desired intercourse times that are multiple week had been having it very often, 1% were having it more regularly than numerous times per week, and 50% had been having it either once per week or numerous times 30 days. That isn’t bad, really: intercourse each day or numerous times on a daily basis is not practical for most people, while the undeniable fact that a lot of people have one degree down from just exactly what they’d have in a perfect world probably leads to satisfaction that is similar.

A week or more on the flip side, 72% of women having sex less than once a year and 57% of women never having sex wanted to be having it multiple times.

Of these whom hadn’t had sex at all in the year that is last 18% didn’t wish to have intercourse. We assumed that individuals people would recognize as grey-ace, demisexual or asexual, but that is not the truth — just 10% of these in a sexless relationship identified as asexual, 5.26% as gray-ace and 7% as demisexual (but we permitted visitors to select more than just one single sexual orientation, so there may be some overlap). It’s likely that coping with upheaval, working with medical ailments or medicines and aging will be the contributing factors that are biggest to those not wanting intercourse.

Nevertheless – 36% of those in relationships whom not have sex have not had sex with anyone, ever. Therefore, whenever we have a look at individuals maybe perhaps not making love, we would frequently be taking a look at people that are waiting, maybe maybe not individuals who aren’t getting whatever they desire that they had.